Thursday, April 29, 2010

Are these quotes about frienship the reality

“Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”
“Birds of the same feather flock together”
I have heard these quotes many times. I don’t know their author and have not bothered to find out. But I had always questioned their authenticity until around 4am on 25th April, 2010. I had been awaken by multiple mosquitoes bites, there is this invasion of mosquitoes in my area. A battle I have been fighting with different kind of insecticides and there is no hope of victory. This particular morning the mosquitoes won again they successfully woke me up. No thanks to the various adverts on TV by various insecticides making companies about how effective their products are. I have strategies with which I intend to deal with them.

Back to my topic, until this particular morning I had never bothered to question the real meaning of friendship. But some events happened in succession in about a space of two weeks. Cumulatively they all forced me to actually asked a personal question whether I do really have friends. On checking through my friend list I discovered that I do not have any if I had to look at my friends in comparison to the quotes above.

Most of my present friends are people I either met in primary school, secondary school, or in the university. Some of them because we were course mates, some we were room mates, some were my parents friends children, some we met in church, some in beer parlours and some others in clubs. There are even some I met in work environments, some others through another friend.

My concerns is that is there any of these people that are called my friends that I became close to because we share the same values, or share the same belief or because they possess characters that I greatly cherish, no. Please, I am not saying my friends do not have good characters. Some of them will be reading this; you don’t have to be offended. I am only posing a question, which I think will help anyone that share my worries. My question is, did I choose to be close to them because of their good characters. My contention is that friendship is what we should seek out for based on value, beliefs, and dreams. If not, nobody will be able to know us by our friends. Most of our friendly engagements are what I call marriage of convenience.

I think friendship is like trying to woo a lady. You must have seen something of the good value she possesses that you like before making proposals. I think that is how we can truly have friends that we can flock with.

Though overtime there is a life sieve that helps us sort out the different relationships in our lives. Most of these great guys I met in primary school, some we have not seen in years. Some we still talk to each other regularly. Some of them I will really love to meet them again but don't know how to connect with them. The question I want us to genuinely ask ourselves is this. Is the relationship symbiotic or parasitic?
Some of this great folks you will not realize how good or bad they are until you had to do business together. Some until you lose your source of income, or until something affect your health in the adverse. Check your friends list, don’t wait for the natural sieve. If you need a friend go out and make one, sometimes they are more than a brother.  You can not choose a brother, but you can choose your friend..