I noticed that naturally people without money sometimes lack self esteem. This is demonstrated in their inability to relate with people that has money. Some times what is called inferiority complex. I wonder how they intend to solve their money problem. I am not suggesting hero worshiping or idolatry. What I am saying is that we should be able to approach people we need leverage from. What we need to do is to find out what we are willing to offer in exchange for their help. Once we find out what can be offered we should be bold to approach them.
Self-esteem or Confidence is a realistic appreciative opinion of yourself. Realistic means we are dealing in the truth, being accurately and honestly aware of our strengths, weakness and everything in-between. Appreciative means we have good feelings overall about the person we see.
Our self esteem or self confidence is who we are which is not subject to change. Whether we have a disabilities or we have a social misfit all these does not change who we are. Our feelings does not have any effect on these, it is about how we were made in the image of our creator.
Self-esteem rests upon three building blocks which are;
1. Unconditional Worth.
2. Love
3. Growth
Unconditional Worth – Worth as a person is neither earned nor increased or reduced by external factors such as the way people treat you, bad decisions or fluctuations in your bank account balance.
Psalm 139:14 – “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully, wonderfully made, marvelous are thy works and my soul knoweth right well.”
Unfortunately, that is not the message that is passed across in our society. Our social status sometimes is determined by the kind of car we use, where we work. This practice is what encourages photocopy, when we try to be someone else not ourselves.
Rather we should act out ourselves, which is the movie that will make us the money we need.
Our self confidence should not depend on our performance, health status or social status.
“The culture we have does not make people feel good about ourselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work don’t buy it”
Most times we compete to show our worth, but we don’t have to. No man is worthless. Our core self, our worth represents attributes for living well. This includes capacities to love, think rationally, sacrifice, persevere, beautify, experience beauty and make good decisions. This natural attributes can be fine tuned. That is what God meant when he said we should renew our mind.
Romans 12:1-2 - “I beseech therefore brethren, by the mercies of God that ye presents your bodies a living sacrifice holy, acceptable unto God, your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
External Influence/ World – These things do not change our worth. These are appearance, vitality, health, economic status, gender, race, age , job title, promotions, awards, adversity, relationship, family (marital status), popularity, number of children, school grades, mistakes, moods, jobs or athletic performance, skill levels and control over events. Since the society is preaching a different message, that is why probably in this part of the world we are “title” crazy. That is why life manual advised we should not conform but rather be transformed.
Love
What is love? According to life’s manual “Love is patient, kind, envies not, does not vaunt itself, does not puff, is not rude. Love is selfless and is not easily provoked. She does not keep record of evil, rejoices not iniquity, rejoices in truth. She believes all things, bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
From this we can conclude that love is the attitude that wants what is best for the beloved at each and every moment. A decision and commitment made each day and a skill we can learn. I do not subscribe to the school of thought that suggests that love is of different types such as Agape, Philo etc. Probably because I have not read Hebrew version of the bible. Likewise I will suggest that love is not a feeling, I think it is a conscious daily decision we have to make, it is who we are. I think so strongly it is the building block of all types of relationship, it is not only between a husband and wife, it is the only knot that can bind all relationships.
We must understand that
Human tell lies, they naturally make promises that they cannot fulfill because of their limitations.
Num. 23: 19 “God is not a man, that he should lie neither is he the son of man that he should repent.
Without love it is impossible to relate effectively with one another.
Growth
Growth is a direction, not reaching a destination. It does not imply we will not falter, it means we are committed to becoming a better person. Forgiving ourselves and others so quickly and pushing ahead.
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